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#1
22-06-2004, 08:49 AM
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MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
article from The Nation
Stigma fading for mia farang Ask a girl in the rural Northeast what she wants to be when she grows up, and you might hear farmer, teacher, singer, actress – or foreigner’s wife. Thai women taking Western husbands are nicknamed “mia farang”, and here in Isaan some 15,000 women wear the title with pride. To be a foreigner’s wife is to have money, security, stability, an end to crushing poverty, and by and large, community acceptance of your choice in “career”. The numbers of teenagers and high school graduates trying to enter the social circles of the mia farang was at first a phenomenon, and now a norm of life in Isaan. Girls trade tips on scoring Western husbands, or seek advice from the increasing amount of schoolmates or older cousins who already have one. The government is now even asking mia farang to sell Otop products and help bring more foreigners to the Kingdom. “Try asking any threeyearold girl in a rural village what she would like to be when she grows up, and you would be surprised to hear how many of them reply mia farang,” Adul Jankaew, headman of Ban Nonngarm village in Udon Thani’s Muang district said. According to Witchai Lormwong, a director of the district school in Ban Phranmuan, becoming a mia farang is often deemed “good and acceptable” by a girl’s friends and family. “There’s no more question of whether being mia farang is right or wrong. Girls just do it,” Witchai said. The villagers say that for an Isaan girl, a Westerner is potentially the Prince Charming in their Cinderella story. The right marriage could get them all they need, and much of what they’ve lacked, overnight. “Over there” is associated with bright futures, getting money for doing little to nothing, maybe even becoming rich. The other option for girls is more traditional: hard work on farms with the prospect of uncertain income. “Why not marry a foreigner? Its good money,” said “Nong Dum”, a grade 9 student in Ban Jaan village in Roi Et who did not want to reveal her real name. That philosophy is now getting passed from mother to daughter in Isaan, according to Adul. “They teach their kids that if someone asks them about what they want with their future, they should reply mia farang,” Adul said. In Adul’s village, 25 out of 180 families have mia farang wives or mothers, not including those who have yet to get married and those working in the sex industry. The area is one of many largescale miafarang communities scattered across the region, according to a recent survey by the National Economic and Social Development Board’s regional office. But the decision to be a foreigner’s wife doesn’t hold appeal for everyone. Prasit Boonchoop, a Ban Jaan village headman, admitted that more and more of the girls in his village and nearby areas are strictly targeting foreigners. But some would rather have the security of poverty at home, rather than the uncertainty of wealth abroad. “I would rather work hard here on the farm than stay abroad. I don’t know what they are doing there. I just want to study more, till at least grade 12,” said Nong Am, a 15-year-old in Ban Jaan. But her 21yearold cousin just left for Switzerland on a “student visa” –meaning she has three months to find a mate, according to the family – and Nong Am’s mother is now doing cleaning work in Bangkok, a popular summer activity that provides Bangkok income and exposure to farang men. “It is common for villagers here to work in Bangkok after the rice farming season, because there are no jobs here. The husbands drive taxis and the wives do cleaning or waitressing jobs in restaurants around the capital,” Prasit said. “There are at least 100 families from this village working for [businesses] in Chuwit [Kamolwisit]’s Davis Group chain alone. Some get as much as Bt2,000 in tips on a lucky day, compared to their Bt1,200 salary,” he added. Work in Bangkok or the tourist provinces are a rural girl’s map to meeting foreigners, according to the NESDB study. Most villagers interviewed by The Nation immediately answered “economic factors” when asked to explain why they would be a mia farang. Currently, the 22 million people in the 19 northeastern provinces earn an income that is three times below the national average and 8.9 times lower than Bangkok’s. The region still has 6,679 “poor” villages and another 806 “very poor” villages – accounting for 40 per cent of Thailand’s poor – according to a February NESDB report. Ironically, the government’s Bt1million village fund is helping people move to the city. The money, which people say they will use to fix irrigation ditches or buy cattle, often purchases a ticket to Bangkok, according to the two village headmen. They’re lured by a desire for material goods, and the quickest fix for that need is a farang husband. “The villagers compete to be successful people and they measure success through the size of a house, the brand of a car and other luxury items,” Prasit said. Some roads in mia farang villages put one in mind of Bangkok’s posher residential areas, instead of a village in the dry Northeast. The latest fashionable car might be parked in a garage attached to a Western style luxury rambler, all located behind a solid concrete fence. The sign to Ban Jaan village is written in Thai and English. Local residents call the village, with its 80 Swiss soninlaws, Ban Jaan Swiss. “We get a lot of support from farang money,” said village headman Adul, reflecting the level of community acceptance of mia farang. But not every mia farang fairytale wedding has a happy ending, according to some women outside of the mia farang circle. “Among the successful cases are the older women, or the ones who’ve been exposed to marriage. Most of the teen mia farang are not successful. They are only in the relationship for money, but they are immature about relationships,” said a food vendor in Udon Thani. --The Nation 2004-06-16 
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#2
22-06-2004, 08:50 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
MIA FARANG CLUB: 'It's not just about the money'
Published on Jun 15, 2004 It's not just the lure of financial security but the "bad habits" of Thai men, say those Thai women who have chosen Western men over their male compatriots for husbands. And this seems to be backed up by a recent survey. According to the National Economic and Social Development Board (NESDB), the bad habits of Thai men are one of three main reasons why large numbers of women from the country's Northeast have married Western men, leading to the "mia farang" phenomenon in the region. The other two reasons are: poverty and family debts - especially after divorcing a Thai husband who leaves them to take care of the children - and women who want to emulate the success of neighbours who have married a foreigner. "Thai men have a tendency to ignore their responsibilities to their family. They easily become 'jao choo' [adulterous] as well as alcoholic if they have money," said Suphee Traiphoo, 42, from Udon Thani. Suphee married German Peter Volk, 59, 18 years ago. "I'm not saying all Thai men are like this but many of them are. Let's just say that without an order from God, I would not marry a Thai man," she added. "They [Western men] are romantic and good at taking care of their wives, especially financially. And they share the housework, unlike the majority of Thai men," said Suphee's neighbour Noolam Jaithiang, 45. Noolam is married to 60-year-old Austrian lawyer Kowarch Andreas. Both Noolam and Suphee divorced their Thai husbands before remarrying with Westerners. "I had four kids with a Thai husband before marrying my first Austrian husband with whom I have a 12-year-old daughter. We are no longer together but I am now living with another Austrian man. We are not yet married as my first Austrian husband wants to secure my financial situation if he dies. My current Austrian boyfriend has no problems with the situation," Noolam said. "We share similarities in that we both have grown-up children and need someone to be with and help each other. He came at the right time to my life," said Noolam. After divorcing her Thai husband, Suphee went to work as a cleaner in Bangkok in order to earn money to raise her nine-month-old child. It was in Bangkok that she met her German husband through a friend who also had a German husband. "After a long period of contact, I told him I had 11 family members to take care of and took him to my home. He said okay and told me he was not a rich man, just an ordinary working man," Suphee said. The pair married and she went to work as a cleaner in German for 15 years until she got her pension three years ago. She then went back to live in her hometown in Udon Thani's Ban Non Ngarm with her husband Peter, who is also retired. "It was not love at first but his good side did make me see him differently later. He cares about my family and always asked whether I sent money to my family on salary day. He helps me with the housework and loves my Thai son," said Suphee. Eighty per cent of the 15,284 mia farang interviewed in the survey were married to Thai men before marrying their foreign husbands, the board's regional office director, Decha Vanichvarod, said. "We found that the mia farang group is not the beautiful group who are attracted to work in the sex industry. They are just typical Isaan [Northeast] women with very little education. But they are healthy, patient and good at looking after the household. These qualities seem to attract Western, mostly elderly, men" said Decha. "She is sincere, straightforward and diligent. I love her even though she grumbles too much sometimes and orders me around to do this and that," said Suphee's husband Peter. "I trust my sense when seeing her eyes. She is courageous and self-confident, unlike my former wife," said Andreas about his wife Noolam. Grandma Lamai (not her real name) from Roi Et's Ban Jaan said she was impressed with the way her Swiss son-in-law of eight years treats her daughter and grandchildren. It is far from normal Thai men's standards, she said. "When my daughter married him, he learned the ways of Buddhism in order to understand us even though it was not his religion. I could feel his sense of care and respect," Lamai said while showing photographs of her two grandchildren. Lamai has visited her grandchildren in Switzerland twice. Prasit Boonchoob, the headman of Ban Jaan, where 80 out of the 587 families in the community feature a Western husband, said even though he was conservative he agreed that Western men took good care of their wives. "If I was still single now, I don't think I could get a wife from this village," he said. "Even though it is not a new thing I am a bit surprised to know that most women we interviewed mentioned the same things about Thai men's behaviour today as they had in the past. They hate Thai men's bad habits, especially the drinking, gambling and womanising, which they describe as being irresponsible to the family," said Decha. Kamol Sukin, Sumalee Phopayak The Nation UDON THANI, ROI ET ------------ The Mia Farang of Isaan "They are mostly typical Isaan women, rather dark skin, quite strong and healthy and not the type to attract typical Thai men," said researcher Decha Vanichvarod when asked to characterise mia farang, the Thai wives of foreign men. Decha is director of the National Economic and Social Development Board's Northeastern Region. "They are not 'beautiful' according to Thai men, or among the good-looking women who normally head for jobs in the sex industry in Bangkok, Phuket or Pattaya," he states in a soon-to-be published report. Decha's study surveyed 15,284 mia farang in 19 provinces of the Northeast, ranging in age from 20 to 52 years of age, and averaging 32. Khon Kaen, Udon Thani and Nong Khai were the top three home provinces in terms of numbers. Most of the women - 69 per cent - had an education no higher than Grade 6, 24 per cent made it to Grade 9 and the remaining 7 per cent graduated from higher levels. Eighty per cent of them had been married before. Many have children with Thai husbands, the study found. More than 50 per cent were from farming households and found they could not survive economically after breaking up with their husbands. Many seek jobs in the service sector, such as hotel maids, waitresses or masseurs, which they feel give them a better chance of meeting foreigners. Many meet Western partners through neighbours or relatives who have married farang. The study says 63 per cent met their husbands independently in Bangkok, Pattaya or another big city, 35 per cent through a relative and 2 per cent on the Internet. Before meeting their farang partners, 33 per cent of the women had worked in Bangkok for less than Bt5,000 a month; 17 per cent worked in Pattaya for a similar income; 13 per cent worked in other tourist cities for salaries around Bt7,000; 26 per cent were farmers with a Bt1,000-per-month income; and 11 per cent had already worked abroad, many in factories, for salaries in the Bt30,000 range. Since marrying, 72 per cent have become housewives and receive money from their husbands upon request. The women send an average of Bt8,000 a month back to their families. The top three home countries of the husbands are Germany, Switzerland and England (20, 14 and 12 per cent, respectively). Other husbands of the women surveyed were from Australia, the United States, New Zealand, Canada, Sweden, France, Holland, Denmark, Belgium, Scotland, Italy, Norway, Greece and Israel, and Asian nations including Japan, Malaysia and Singapore, with small numbers from Laos, Hong Kong, South Korea, Kuwait and China. Businessmen comprised the largest group of foreign husbands (22 per cent), with smaller numbers working as state officials, technicians, engineers, retirees, teachers and doctors.
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#3
22-06-2004, 02:12 PM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
If one noticed carefully, most of these men are also divorced before, some with kids. When they looked for a new wife, they will be looking for someone typcially very different from their ex. Someone who loves you for who you are (warts, fats & all), someone who is devoted to you, respects you, and may even be fiercely loyal - characteristics that seem to bec getting extinct in developed countries (even SG, IMHO).
Often many people think that the women chose the foreigner cos he provides easy money, and nothing else. Usually that is not true. The 1st reason is really they are already turned off by their own Thai men - jao chuu, lazy, drinking and sometimes gambling being the reasons. Next, they find these foreigners a totally different ballgame - caring, loving, financially sound, etc, and also most of them are one-woman men (ironically due to the "men = women" culture of the developed countries) Having spoken to several Thai women (some already with kids) who have married men from USA, Australia, Singapore, UK, etc, I have yet to come across one where the lady does not a good reason to marry the men that is better than the money part. Usually they have several reasons that I agree are more important than wealth. None of them said money is not important, but they do add that a certain minimum level of financial support is needed for them to consider as they all want to give their families a better life. And please dun think these gals will always play "tricks and KC" to hook their men. Maybe some do, but really most of them rather be themselves, especially if they know their men are serious and they are going to live together when they get married. Unlike those cases where the men have their wives back home and visit regularly. They go thru problems/issues/quarrels jsut like any normal r/s. The reason why these r/s can succeed is typically both parties have already experienced a bad marriage before and are therefore more ready to give and take. Also, in a sense, cos of "once bitten twice shy", once tends to make sure the other party do not have characteristics that clashes with oneself. With 2 ready hearts, the r/s has a better chance of success. Sometimes the existing children (if applicable) gets in the way. Other times they become the glue that pulls both even closer. One thing I like to find out from bros here. Many farangs can accept a divorced women with kid(s). I think most SG men will not. Will you? For myself, I will.
__________________
Heaven on Earth - to be connected in heart, mind & body 
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#4
09-07-2004, 01:08 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Apart from prejudice against marrying a divorcee ... what about marrying a WL .. would you (bros in general) marry her .. without any reservations? Food for thought ....
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#5
09-07-2004, 03:06 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
I too got to accept that I had not been an angel in the past, so I can also accept her past. What matters more is now and the future.
__________________
Heaven on Earth - to be connected in heart, mind & body
Last edited by free; 09-07-2004 at 03:16 AM.
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#6
09-07-2004, 03:09 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
BTW, u both staying in SG or? I plan to move up to LOS. Working on that now.
__________________
Heaven on Earth - to be connected in heart, mind & body
Last edited by free; 09-07-2004 at 03:14 AM.
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#8
10-07-2004, 09:58 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
 . Actually got 4 more months to engagement. Her parents OK on date liao - her birthday. House will take another 10-12 months to be ready.
__________________
Heaven on Earth - to be connected in heart, mind & body
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#9
11-07-2004, 10:32 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
Bro, u mean a house in Thailand or in S'pore? Well I am seeing a ex WL, did it because of family like many other gals. I dun care about what happened and we are now trying to see if she can adapt to life here. I can't find a job in Bkk despite sending like 30 CVs........According to a recruitment agency, there are too many ang mohs that want to work there..........and by the way, I'm 28 and she's 25.
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#10
11-07-2004, 01:16 PM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
We're buying a house in Samut Prakan outside BKK ("We" cos she also chipping in, cos she said not fair for me to pay alone, so she got to work a lot harder at her new biz). No longer considering buying a property here - rather rent, cos simply not worth it. Pissed off at how all those major economic mistakes were made (despite protests/warnings from ppl like us eons ago), & how cost of living/business here were jacked up to unrealistic levels (viz-a-viz our neighbouring countries) and they still dun want to admit their mistakes (I would have respected them much more if they admitted). After years of rejecting offers from USA & Europe to go work there as I wanna stay to contribute to my country (big sacrifice coz terms are so much better), I have had enough. Several things can happen - eventually I partner with some friends to open a factory in Samut Prakan or nearby (they got capital, me the know-how & onsite management skills), or my current company opens a subsidiary (quite possible) or I find a job. All these related to my quite unique skills in engineering IT, as I am pioneer in my industry - even on a global basis (& few angmohs can match). If company wants to move towards being world-class, I can contribute a lot (proven over the years). Better yet, our retail shop (to open soon) hopefully can succeed beyond all dreams and she needs me to help her as we consider expansion, or I focus on import/export if I can find enough retailers who wants supplies from Thailand. Initially we both had decided that we should come over here (mainly cos of kid's education & my career), and go back to visit her parents often, but over time, I find myself happier there. Life is not so hectic and heck, a lot cheaper. Plus I am now comfortable with speaking Thai and can get by with most day-to-day conversations, including with strangers. I have to thank the book "Thai For Beginners" for getting me started. Now my key teachers are of course my tirak and our little one. It seems from ppl I converse with that my spoken Thai is pretty accurate. I am also beginning to read/write Thai. Like the language somehow, and find it easier than Chinese! If one is prepared to lead a simple life, it is pretty surprising how cheap it can be to survive there (by SG costing standards). Plus I found out that International School is cheap (1/10 of SG) & I dun like the local school system here anyway - it sucks. I no longer want to work like hell here just to pay bills. Guess I am fortunate I have options to consider, and I am looking at them seriously. Beginning to know & meet more bros who have migrated, started families & succcessfully integrated into Thai life, holding normal jobs or running businesses. Several dun even cheong anymore (& that's why their experience are esp valuable to me, since cheonging is NOT the reason why I go Thailand). Will learn more from them.Guess I am getting "Thai-ized"  and I like it.
__________________
Heaven on Earth - to be connected in heart, mind & body
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#11
12-07-2004, 12:32 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
good luck in your relationship!
__________________
เวลาช่วยรักษาแผลใจ Time heals Love's wounds
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#12
12-07-2004, 12:39 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
u have to decide if you want to be in thailand wif her or get her to be in Sg with you. am sure you would know that getting her to stay in Sg is tough even if she has a uni degree... i would say get to know her better first before committing... it may sound cliche but they all do it becoz of the same reason... the mum is the sole bread winner and the siblings will all work to earn fast money, if possible to help mum... the sad fact is that most of the time its true. most important is you are not committing due to pity... spend enough time together and make sure you two love each other.
__________________
เวลาช่วยรักษาแผลใจ Time heals Love's wounds
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#13
12-07-2004, 01:58 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
Even though I myself am in the processing of walking towards marriage with a wonderful TG, I agree with you on "get to know her better first before committing...". U need to see her in all sorts of everyday environment and vice versa. However, getting to know the gal alone is not good enough, cos most TGs are very close to their families and often has the desire to take care of their parents. I think it is very very important to get to know the family well, and see how your tirak behaves in her family setting. What you see (her family) will may either assure you or turn you off. There are enough r/s that finally failed cos of the extreme demands from her family, even if she herself is a good gal. Her ties to her family may make it impossible for the guy to live with. Having said that, if the family is good, they will interestingly need your assurance that you are a good man for their daughter, for they too would have probably heard nasty stories of other ppl's daughters getting cheated. In addition, you 2 need to do things that you expect to be doing together most of the time when you are finally together as man/wife. That will be a real test. Spending time together having a lot of fun (Bpai Tiao) that u won;t normally do when u live together in future will not be a reflection of reality. For my case, we really enjoy doing "family things" together, more than anything else.
__________________
Heaven on Earth - to be connected in heart, mind & body
Last edited by free; 12-07-2004 at 02:08 AM.
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#14
12-07-2004, 04:38 AM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
__________________
Heaven on Earth - to be connected in heart, mind & body
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#15
12-07-2004, 02:46 PM
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Re: MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
Quote:
to accept the thai girl you must also accept their family and maybe even to the extent of helping out. meeting them understanding their demands for marrying their daughter will be a good indication if they are sharpening their knives for the "farang" kill. my advice is to take time and not rush into it blindly... know the girl well cause marriage its a life long commitment (cliched but true) and make sure you can accept all the frills that come along with her... present and past. if not then better think very carefully. no need to rush if she really loves you... she can wait one.
__________________
เวลาช่วยรักษาแผลใจ Time heals Love's wounds
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