Sex Life after Marriage

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by hil169

It takes two hands to clap. It takes both to make the change. No use one keep putting in effort and the other not reciprocating at all. You know it best by looking at your own situation.

yes that's why it fails doesn't it?

because one tries and the other doesn't.

eventually that one that tries stops trying. I don't know any car, animal, person anything that run on empty. Even air plants, need some attention.

and sometimes its recognizing that we have made the wrong choices.

dust your feet and move on.

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by Fade

There you go guys.... do u all see the pattern now?
It's about making an effort to keep those sparks alive with ur partner! Even with a FB, the companionship could get stale. If you change a FB or a find a new Wife, history always repeats! So start making the change in yourself! Not ur FB or ur Wife! Sturborn like bulls one will tell me that the best solution is by having many FBs or go look for FLs with no strings attached etc..pls touch ur heart.. touch ur heart and tell yourself that you deserve only the best.
Being no angel myself falling into hell, please do not subject yourself to be used or use others in exchange for your desired lust.

well it seems there are 2 parts here

1. You deserve the best (move on, if he/she doesn't change?)
2. Change yourself (put effort, take responsibility, to try change your mate?).

Well if you change yourself and the person doesn't?

I know there are some that will find FBs FLs WLs, whether the marriage is fine or not. Its just fooling around
But then again there are those who are going to look for acceptance, affection, and just some human resemblance of warmth, care, and physical attraction.
And its easier to just find it in the arms of someone else.(especially if you have tried so hard that you are totally disappointed)

if there is a pattern, its not to feel so down after being let down.
Even the great ones like Leslie Cheung, or local girls like Fiona Xie have been disillusioned in love.
Life is a game, you got to play to win. If you cant win the other person's heart, you can make sure you don't lose your faith in yourself
You owe it to yourself to win, you only live once

[ourworld]

http://icreative.am/28456.html


Don't stop having sex people!

[Fade]

YOLO bro... now that's a more relevant band to my Gen. Rock on.... my
1. Yes... move on and don't even look back.
2. I have never believe in changing a person, changing own mindset is probably easier. It's about Acceptance. Accept the flaws of your partner. If your partner cares and love you enough, I believe he /she will change.

Bringing the cycle to a higher level.. lol

Fooling around gets one nowhere: end of the day, empty pockets, empty heart and mind. Might as well spend more effort in building the right relationship with the right person.

Wah..What happened to Fiona Xie? Me not into celebrities' gossips. Share.. share... got leaked pics and vid? PM me link!

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

well it seems there are 2 parts here

1. You deserve the best (move on, if he/she doesn't change?)
2. Change yourself (put effort, take responsibility, to try change your mate?).

Well if you change yourself and the person doesn't?

I know there are some that will find FBs FLs WLs, whether the marriage is fine or not. Its just fooling around
But then again there are those who are going to look for acceptance, affection, and just some human resemblance of warmth, care, and physical attraction.
And its easier to just find it in the arms of someone else.(especially if you have tried so hard that you are totally disappointed)

if there is a pattern, its not to feel so down after being let down.
Even the great ones like Leslie Cheung, or local girls like Fiona Xie have been disillusioned in love.
Life is a game, you got to play to win. If you cant win the other person's heart, you can make sure you don't lose your faith in yourself
You owe it to yourself to win, you only live once

[Shadow_warrior]

[libido]

he's playing you knowing that you need him more than he needs you. if you want to leave him within the next few years, time to collect "evidence" and position yourself so that you have the upper hand in court. the worst you can do is to divorce in the heat of the moment.

[latishame]

Totally felt like a beggar just now. Beg and beg wife for sex but just brush me off by saying she is tired. 6 months after she giv birth, only had sex once and that one time half way through she say tired and ask me stop. End up hav to masturbate myself. Damn sick of this.

[jazp]

Originally Posted by latishame

Totally felt like a beggar just now. Beg and beg wife for sex but just brush me off by saying she is tired. 6 months after she giv birth, only had sex once and that one time half way through she say tired and ask me stop. End up hav to masturbate myself. Damn sick of this.

Bro, don't beg. Don't do anything that makes you feel like a beggar in marriage. It puts you at the lower end of the food chain.

She said she's tired so you can lessen her load at home by doing up a schedule in taking turns to care for the child and do housework. That shows you care.

And then sneak in some sweet words and gestures along the way.

If after lessening her load and she still says she's tired, then knn that's an excuse.

Begging should never be the thing to do. Women want confident men.

[kue19xx]

Hi Fade hope you are doing and coping well.

Reading thru all the post is like de jevu. Its happened to me too and it is real. Many of us is facing the similar issues. Just what hhlover mentioned, before marrage lots of sex, after 1st 2nd 3rd child the frequency lesser and lesser till non existence!

In the end I ventrured out to happy massage and commercial sex to curb my needs. I admire one of bro here who stated he want to be faithful and did not go for commercial sex. I did thought of this before but i just could not take it anymore. Since 2006 started till now i had spent over $40K on this!

Do i feel guilty? Yes extremely when started. My regular ML tell me I shd not blame mysel as i got my own needs and as long it is not an affair.

I still love my family, my wife is still a great wife taking care of me and the kids. Just that she do not hve the desire for sex. As long as i cheong safe and dun brring diseases home!

[PeaceButterfly]

Originally Posted by kue19xx

Hi Fade hope you are doing and coping well.

Reading thru all the post is like de jevu. Its happened to me too and it is real. Many of us is facing the similar issues. Just what hhlover mentioned, before marrage lots of sex, after 1st 2nd 3rd child the frequency lesser and lesser till non existence!

In the end I ventrured out to happy massage and commercial sex to curb my needs. I admire one of bro here who stated he want to be faithful and did not go for commercial sex. I did thought of this before but i just could not take it anymore. Since 2006 started till now i had spent over $40K on this!

I still love my family, my wife is still a great wife taking care of me and the kids. Just that she do not hve the desire for sex. As long as i cheong safe and dun brring diseases home!

Agree with you bro, be safe!

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by latishame

Totally felt like a beggar just now. Beg and beg wife for sex but just brush me off by saying she is tired. 6 months after she giv birth, only had sex once and that one time half way through she say tired and ask me stop. End up hav to masturbate myself. Damn sick of this.

Why Beg when u only need to pay $50 bro? Worth anot to beg her? Bo Hua la

[DJovita]

Originally Posted by Tai_zi21

Why Beg when u only need to pay $50 bro? Worth anot to beg her? Bo Hua la

Not $50 + $50 meh?

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by DJovita

Not $50 + $50 meh?

Bro I more cheapo la... go for cat 50 at GL lor... can fuck can bj but 25 mins only la... that why I say why bother to beg?

I always tell my female friends u dun cook at home Everyday... how can u expect ur hubby not to go outside eat? And I hate the reason oh I am very tired... who the fuck is not tired in Singapore? Maybe our minsters only... so u tired mean everything dun do and dun bother is ok?

[YELLOW]

dont really noe how to start.
been married for 4 yrs .... 1 daughter 4yrs old .
mum and wife dont get alone from day 1. when daughter veri young wife keep bring bb back mil plc .... stay is from wed to fri nite come back .... tried nego w her but refuse ....non negotiable ... say nobody helps her w bb.

wife works ... for herself ... house i pay kid i support expenses from me ... she work part time for herself ... say she veri stress. so when bb is young she took her away for extended periods ... leaving me alone .
now kid bigger ... cannot stay away cos got sch .... but now i gotto get used to wife being at home . she is like a stranger .

times when she not ard .... there are others veri good to me ... i noe i lack discipline ....but it is these times when i am weakest .....

so till now there is zero comm w wife .... i try not to ask for intimacy cos it ll be shot down anycase i try not to ask not to tok cos it seems verbal misunderstanding is veri often ..... i wish i can jus leave this marriage . she brings out the worst in me .... But bb how .... ? sigh..... i dont wan bb to be stuck w her and get influenced by her bad attitude. sighhhhhhh how ....?




QUOTE=Shadow_warrior;15732813]thank you for your candid sharing

I guess in a way it helps to put this all out in words. Especially when no one close can understand.

I have had problems with my wife since day 1 and we can heading into our 10 year.
can feel your pain and struggle.

Mine is coupled with a mother who has never really wanted to a wife or mother, who is constantly negative, never wanted sons as children, who has always put her biological family first over her married family and children

Life can be damn tough and at times, meaningless. But for the ones who depend on me, my daughter, I must overcome. I CAN I WILL I MUST[/QUOTE]

[zomgbaby]

Sex is free but it's we humans made it expensive. It can be financially expensive if one decides to seek it from external sources. It can also be emotionally "expensive" when one party tries so hard but receive none in return. In most cases the one who is rejecting always don't see the importance of a healthy sex life.

I too suffer from a sexless marriage. But it started 1 year prior to the wedding because she didnt want to get pregnant as we've always used the withdrawal method. I respected her decision and never once asked her for any sexual favors. Not even petting.

We were too tired to consummate on the wedding night itself. I've never officially brought it up but did try to initiate two weeks later which ended up with a famous quote "I'm too tired". Soon "no mood" "dont want" "dont feel like" followed. Initiation became persuasion and followed by arguments. I was emotionally shunned out every single time the topic was brought up. Suggested marriage counselling but always ended up activating her iron curtain. I do realize its a common trait for the "antagonist" to reject and cook up excuses to avoid counselling, as if they knew they are the actual problem. But the truth is none of us wants to go to a 3rd party so we can point fingers at them but instead cure this sexless marriage cancer.

Its was only 3rd year into the marriage we made love for the first time in 4YEARS! Yes you didn't read wrongly. 4 frigging years! Believe it or not, that 4 years I've never eaten out but my left arm grew stronger (I'm sure you know why). You never guessed who was our marriage "savior", it was her gynae! I've never failed to accompany her for her gynae appts and usually ill pay for the consultation. Tbh I pay for all the expenses and stuff. She gets to spend what she earns and I don't meddle with her money matters. Back to the gynae. My wife has irregular menses since she was young so that fateful appt she brought it up to the gynae if that's a sign of infertility. Gynae debunked and told us that even if menses didn't visit regularly it doesn't mean one is not ovulating.

Wife proceeded to do her pap smear and gynae used ultrasound to check her eggs. Gynae's next string of words brought light to my world. Gynae said "look! You are OVULATING". When the procedure was done my wife had a smile on her face as if she struck Toto. Gynae suggested that we try since we are at our prime age and prime time. Put it in a crude way, it was the best day for me to unload my warm semen into her.

"Coincidentally" a few weeks prior, my cousin who got married before us announced they would be having a baby soon. Wife did brought it up a number of times if we should try as well. I knew she was being competitive and didn't want to lose out since my cousin and spouse were about our age. Not conceiving few years into the marriage people might start to probe if we are infertile. Unhappy with her sudden need to pro create I told her we shouldn't have a child just because cousin is expecting one. It didn't feel right for me at least. Ive never felt so contradicted in my life, here I've been waiting to be one with her for the past 4 years and there I'm telling her we shouldnt try for baby.

On the way home after the gynae appointment she asked if we should try, I knew it was homerun for me that night. That night we made love for the first time in years. It was very awkward at first as we've never touched each other for awhile. We started off with light kisses which turned into a wild tongue fight. She let off soft moans as i grobe her full b cups aggressively while my fingers plays with her nips(she likes it rough on her boobs). I began sucking her nips which were hard by now and continued attacking it furiously. She was in ecstasy and her panties was soaked with her sweet juices. She whispered in my ear "I can't take it anymore" its my turn now. She took off my briefs and my manhood was at full mast in her face. With her little hands she gently stroked my balls and shaft without pulling back my foreskin. The tip of my little head was exposed with precum all over it. I immediately knew what comes next would send me to haven at the speed of light. She gave me a mind blowing bbbj which started with soft and gentle licks at the tip of my little head, as if she was trying to clean up my precum. Sensing that I was at my knees at her will, she took it further by pulling back my foreskin to reveal my little head with her mouth. She remained in that position as my trobbing cock continues to send waves of pleasure to my brain. I gently pushed her head forward to signal her to blow me. She continued with slow and sloppy blowjob for maximum stimulation with occasion eye contact. I had to stop her before I CIM instead of CIP. She laid down for missionary position for easier entry. Trust me it was no easy entry. She was so tight that I was in pain when I entered her wet with her saliva from the blowjob. Slowly i began to pick up pace and soon small trusts became long deep trusts. I could feel every inch of my member enveloped by her tight pussy. We changed into cowgirl position and she rode me furiously as I groped her beautiful breasts while grinding my cock in a circular motion. Sensing she was ready to cum we switched back to missionary and it was my time to tongue her to obvilion. While my fingers were working magic on her clitoris, i began to tongue fuck her. Soon waves of shivers concluded her orgasm and we returned to missionary with my throbbing cock at the entrance of her pussy. We resumed our tongue fight before I entered her with a swift and deep trust which caused her to moan loudly. "Fuck me, haaaarder", She said as i began to pick up pace for the finale. I unloaded deep into her and few more trusts to ensure no seeds were left behind. She told me it was a new sensation, she could feel my semen fill her pussy and it was an unforgettable sensation. We hugged each other to sleep that night. Following nights I continue to creampie her in various positions. I would continue to fuck her even after I came. Some nights she would ride me until I went limp. We were in love!

Fast forward, sexless marriage again after our 1st child came. I did try to initiate but to no avail until recently my cousin announced they are expecting a 2nd child. So lately she's been talking about giving our child a sibling with little age gap. You get the meaning. Last week we had our first session in 2 years. Nothing like that gynae night. It was just kissing, straight forward sex and came on her stomach. I'm saving up my load (5th day now) for the next session. Hopefully some would "accidentally" land on her face when I empty my load. *grins*

PS: My wife was very sexual before marriage and we had a few exciting trysts including once at her work place, in the toilet at my parent's place while they were at home etc.